The Bank Holiday report!

MORNING!! Ahhh well wasn't that a lovely weekend! That little taste of Summer yesterday was gorgeous wasn't it! Sadly I didn't see much of it myself as me and the ever suffering Mrs T spent the majority of it assembling a large solid wood corner bookshelf for the master bedroom. I must say I am quite pleased with the results, even if during the assembly there was an awful lot of swearing and injuries. It turns out that inserting a cross-head screwdriver through the skin of your left index finger is quite painful.

There was of course the normal cursing of the supplied instructions as well, as they expect you to defy the laws of physics and gravity when assembling said furniture. Plus they tell you quite happily that you only need two people to assemble the furniture. What they neglect to tell you is that these people must have at least four arms each! I even vowed that we shall never again purchase any furniture that needs self-assembly! Still it's now proudly in place and looking quite splendid, even if I do say so myself. It's even left the room with a faint freshly cut wood aroma, which is a rather nice touch.

Still, sore fingers and aching palms from all the screwing (NO! Stop it!) aside, the rest of the day was really quite lovely! Although I did do something else rather reckless, I shaved off the beard in a fit of summer feeling madness. Sadly it now means my face looks weird! Don't get me wrong, I've always known and accepted I have a funny looking face, it's just now there's an awful lot more face on show! Never a good thing as far as my face is concerned! No shall not be posting photos! I shall be hiding in a dark cave with a bag over my head, shouting things like "I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!" until the beard has returned.

Still, never mind, we now find ourselves at the head of a brand new week, all be it a much shorter one for most of us and a really quite gorgeous looking day awaits us once more! (Yes! even though it's a The Tuesday!) Although if you plan to dress less and make more of the sunshine, I would double your efforts today as it looks like this little tastette of Summer will be leaving us for a while after today. So make the most of the here and now and welcome it with open arms. Although do be careful out there, don't want you going silly and ending up looking like a lobster! As the song says: Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of 2013. Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience...I will dispense this advice now.

Right, well that seems to of wrapped things up nicely! See you all tomorrow when of course we shall all compare tan lines! WAHEY! xx

Pay attention class!

AHEM!! Eyes front please! . . .Good morning class . . . *awaits the screeching of chairs as the class stands up, and the droning chorus of "Good Morning Mr Tidy" said in a singy way* . . . Right! Now settle down please class, I SAID SETTLE DOWN! That means YOU as well Mitchell. There's always one isn't there and it's usually you Mitchell isn't it!? See me after class! . . . Yes, ok, I know you are all terribly excited because it's a Friday and it's nice and sunny and there is a sunny and warm bank holiday weekend approaching, but that is NO reason to go around acting like a insane battalion of manic, eccentric lunatics!! . . . OH who am I kidding! It's a PERFECT reason to go around acting like a battalion of manic, eccentric lunatics!! Let's GO NUTS! WOOOOO!! YIP!! YIP!! WHEEEEEEEE!!!

Seriously! Who would of thunk that a month ago when it was still minus silly temperature and snow was still happening in places, that come May Day Bank Holiday it would be feeling like Summer! Glorious!! Yes indeed, it promises to be a damn fine Bank Hol weekend. So get out there and fire up the barbeque! I know some of you already have! Yes! I'm looking at you!! Or go and do that meet up in the pub beer garden, you've been meaning to do, or get yaself down the beach with all the other thousands of people, if the sea is what floats your boat! (Haha! Did you see what I did there!). Just let's not waste it! Really sunny and nice Bank Hols a rarer than the Lesser Spotted Shimmering Twingle in this country so I say to heck with any plans you may of had. You know what they say about "The best laid plans of mice and men" Although that's always made me wonder what 'Mice Plans' are!? Something like: 1. Make semi-circular hole in skirting board. 2. Get cheese. 3. Run away from cat. 4. Somehow trick cat into running into and ironing board for comedic purposes. Sorry I got side tracked there! Basically what I'm saying is, go do something a little special because this will surely the weekend to do it! So get out there and make some happy memories!

Yesterday I was inspired by a great friend who was wearing a Kilt and a Fez, (excellent look, by the way) so this morning I decided to give in and get the shorts out the cupboard! (Really MUST get myself a kilt!) So if anyone wishes to by me a belated 40th birthday present, a Utility Kilt would be the one for me thank you so very much. That's really all I'm going to say today, I'm keeping it shorter and sweeter so we don't waste another moment and can get on and languish in the warm gloriousness of a frankly fabulous Friday!

See you all on The Tuesday! (Unless I see you in a beer garden before that of course!) xx

The BOING! of Spring.

Well would you look at that! It's only gone and turned into Friday Eve already! A lot sooner than expected as well. Well for me at least having been still languishing in birthday land on Monday. Isn't it gorgeous out again today! I might well leave it out! (Sorry I had to say it) Actually despite it's obvious gorgeousness it still is pretty bloomin chilly out there at the moment, so don't be deceived if you're stepping out early this morning, like I was. Something with long-sleeves is definitely required at the moment. Still, if it does carry on with this warm Springyness for a little longer the shorts may have to come out!

There! I've said it! The first talk of shorts this year. Another one of those annual milestones I like to mentally check off. I had another one of those the other day, it was the first garden sighting of a bumble bee. Ahh, such simple things make me smile and feel all at peace with things. Although I am, as yet, still to see this years first garden spotted butterfly. Which isn't a type of butterfly even though it sounds like one. It's just the place where I usually spot it.

It's true though, I think all this Springness does us all the power of good. When the sun is shining and the sky is a clear blue, even when it's still a little chilly, somehow things seem more relaxed. We feel a lot more forgiving of people and it kind of paints a little smile on all of our hearts. It truly is a magnificent time of year. It also tells us that even though it's pretty blooming lovely we still have the hope of a gorgeous Summer to follow. Even if like recently we get very let down with our actual Summer, during the Spring we still have that hope of gorgeous one to come.

So I say try and make the most of the frankly gorgeous bit of Spring we're having at the moment. (Sorry, I've used the word gorgeous too much now and it's starting to sound weird) Get outside and meet people, go and have an evening drink in a beer garden. I promise you, you will feel so good for doing it, there really is something rather nice about sharing company and maybe an ice cold alcoholic beverage with a few people in a sunny beer garden, while putting the world to rights. In fact I feel we should all meet up and do this said thing! (Yes EVEN YOU!).

Most of all, try and remember how you are feeling in those times when you can relax, take a deep breath and just enjoy the laziness of Springtime and hold onto those memories when the clouds do come over and bring a little greyness into our lives. It really does make a whole world of difference.

Well toodle pips dear reader, see you tomorrow. x

One mystery of Man revealed.

MORNING!! Looks like another glorious Springy morning out there. How are we all today? . . . Really?! . . . Oh . . . Oh I see . . . how lovely! Well, I think I shall leave you to it then, as it very much were. (Honestly, that was just RUDE! Far too much information I thank you so very much indeed) Still I do find it's nice to come together at the beginning of the day, I find it helps us collect our thoughts and let's us focus on the day before us. Not sure why I'm using the collective noun there. It's like I found myself using 'The Royal we'. (Ooer sounds a bit rude! *snigger snigger*) As I can really only vouch for how it helps me! I certainly can't make any such claim on anyone else who stumbles across my daily mutterings and decides they've got a few minutes spare to bother reading it. Sorry, now where was I? Oh yes, that's right I hadn't even really started yet! Sorry about that, one paragraph down and nothing of any use or meaning has been uttered! No change there then, I hear you cry! (Which if you did was actually a bit rude.)

This morning ladies, (Yes, gentleman readers I am mainly talking to the ladies this morning, sorry about that) I should like to impart some knowledge unto you with regard to the male brain and it's process of how it works. (Yes, yes alright, a very rare thing indeed). Today I would like to explain the reason why at some point you will look at your man disparagingly (there's today's BIG word) as he stands before you completely naked except for wearing socks. Yes I know this is a bug bear of a lot of you, but alas you will find that all men, well at least all British men, will at some point be sporting the 'naked except for socks' look. This I know is seen as a particularly unsexy look for any man. It doesn't even help if you try and add a bit of humor to it by wearing a sock on your downstairs gentleman either apparently!

You see ladies, when we do this, you will be shocked to know that we are not actually trying to attain the 'sexy' look. All we are doing is either getting dressed to go somewhere or getting undressed to go to bed. The reason we end up in this position is just down to the pure logic that our brains seem to want to try and achieve. You see, when a man gets undressed he goes about it systematically. He starts at the top and works his way down, thus the socks being the last item to remove. The same formula is used when getting dressed only in reverse, so we start at the bottom and then work our way up! It really is as simple as that. You see when we're not thinking about it, our brain will automatically revert to basic logic functioning without the thought of how we appear even coming into the equation.

So there we are, another mystery of men revealed! Sadly it just comes down to that fact that yet again we men are but simple creatures. Of course if you do have any other questions into the male psyche, please ask away and I shall try to tackle them at some point in the future.

Right, well must crack on, things to do, creative masterpieces to try and achieve and the usual struggles to tackle. See you all tomorrow on Friday Eve!

Carl Aid was brill

Well good morning, hello and very much welcome to you! It feels like it's been SO long! Plus, may a say what an absolutely glorious day to com back to, just look at it out there! It's looks GORGEOUS! I feel that it won't be long now until the shorts may have to be retrieved from the back of the wardrobe! You have been warned. Generally I do like to give it a good week few days of it being lovely, just to be sure, before I frighten the general public with the legs coming out though.

Still WHAT a lovely weekend I very much had. SO brilliant and I really can't thank the Amazing Lady Tidy enough for it, it was a 'truly scrumptious' birthday weekend. Yes I have reached the slightly large 4.0. now but you will be pleased to know that it really hasn't made any real difference to my mental age, that gauge is still swinging around the 15-18 year old point. Although I am pretty sure that this is the same with most men. Sorry about that ladies!

Anyway, we went off to see the brilliant Iron Man 3 on Friday afternoon, followed by a quick jaunt over to the tiny village of Bramber to have a frankly gorgeous dinner and stay over at The Old Tollgate. Which I know a lot of you know about and know just how lovely and scrummy the food is. We even had a little stroll around the villiage after dinner with a little trip to the pub. Before heading back to stay in one of their very posh rooms, which was all very lovely.

Then Saturday was a bit of a rest day, which was needed because frankly I was a little over excited by that point. Then of course the big day itself on Sunday! Which was also lovely! Really sorry I missed a lovely friend who popped over with a lovely pressie and card though would of been really nice to of had a lovely man hug. I was at Mummy and Daddy Tidy's at this point before they whisked me off for yet another lovely meal.

So really I come back to you completely stuffed with lovely food and a teeny tiny bit older. Still, it doesn't really matter does it!? I mean who's counting anyway!? We can get as old as we like, it doesn't mean we have to grow up does it!

Somewhere over the hill

Ooooo, Oh dear! Sorry, I'm getting a little over excited, as it's my last day at work before the grand birthday weekend. So although it's a Thursday it actually feels very much like a Friday to me. A Thiday if you will. Ooo! Thiday sounds a bit saucy doesn't it! Thighday! Hehehe! Sorry. I just have that pre-Christmas tingle that I usually get the last few days before Christmas. Oh alright, who am I trying to kid, December the 1st. Still it's all going to be lovely I'm sure. Tomorrow I will be off to be treated by the long suffering Lady Tidy to go see Iron Man 3, (RESULT!) before nipping off to have a very lovely meal and an overnight stay. It will be all just lovely and all that will be before my actual birthday has happened! Which of course will be on Sunday as by now I am sure you are all well aware! So excited, not even the fact that I still have the nasty cold, which has now taken up residence in my chest, is going to get to me today.

They say that I'm forty.
But this cannot be!
If someone is forty
It shouldn't be me.
See, people at forty
Have wrinkly skin,
And baggy red eyes.
Such a mess they are in!
They always look sleepy
And cranky and tired,
Their license for fun,
must of, expired!
But I look so fresh,
Kind of happy and spry.
So if they ask me my age
I think I might LIE!

Right well, I think I shall leave it at that this morning, as it seems quite a good place to stop. A relatively short little status for me really! Sorry about that just too excited!! See you all soon! xxx

It's the self pity show!

Morning! Well just how bottom spankingly glorious was yesterday? It was like Summer arrived early for a day just to try itself out. It made you want to listen to 'Summer Breeze' by The Isley Brothers or 'Boys of Summer' by Mr Don Henley or 'Ocean Drive' by The Lighthouse Family at full volume, while driving sedately down a deserted beach front road with the windows open or your roof off, and your shades on, while the warm breeze blew through your hair. Ahhhh blissful. Sadly of course, most of us couldn't of done that anyway even if we wanted to, but still the thought was there.

Mind you even if I had been able to do it, it would of been quite different for me. I would of drove along trying to listen and sing along to the songs, then halfway through the sentence "Makes you feel high" I would have an attack of coughing and spluttering and sneezing and wheezing. Then finish it off by groaning about feeling so ploppy! Yes sadly the cold seems to be loving riddling itself around my person. Still it has changed slightly, it has now moved most of itself from my head and seems to be taking up residence in my neck and chest now. Does that mean it's on it's way out, or does that mean it's going to get worse? I really hope it doesn't. I SO need to be better and bouncy and back to normal by Friday so I can enjoy my whole birthday weekend without groaning about how crappy I feel. (YES! another birthday mention, GET IN!) Still I did eventually rub some Vic on me chest last night (Stop it!!) which does actually seem to help a little, well certainly helpful in trying to get to sleep anyhow.

I'm sorry, you probably don't want updates with how my cold is going do you. Frankly selfish and rude of me to bring it up really! I suppose it's a typical man thing when you feel SO crappy you want to make sure everyone knows how crappy you feel, rather than just shutting up and getting on stuff anyway. So i shall shut up and get on with stuff.

Till tomorrow then! (I would end with a couple of kisses, but frankly you don't want what I've got so I won't)