Hello
there, do come in if your feeling immune to lergy. Sorry about the
mess, just sit where you like I have no special chair I have to sit on.
Although having said that, it does feel a bit weird if I sit on the
right side of the sofa for some reason, but apart from that,
anywhere is fine for me. I did use to have a special chair that only I
sat in, but I think that particular madness may of stopped now. Still I
think if we're honest, we all have a place in the seating plan of the
lounge where we all like to sit don't we?
Well I think I
really should be updating my blog from beneath my snuggy while laying
on the sofa really. I feel dreadful. Yes I realise it will probably been
seen as Man-Flu by some. Which I think is getting a little unfair these
days! You see us men feel we can no longer be allowed to say feel
really rotten and horrible any more because it get's branded as Man-Flu
and taken as a bit of a joke! A tad unfair I feel.
Still call it what you like I'm afraid I seem to of contracted it. Just
feeling a bit sick, very weak and achey and a bit shakey. (No that
doesn't mean I'm going to break into a chorus of "You Drive Me Crazy"
and start wearing double denim. Although obviously I am a huge fan of
the Welsh Elvis and if I wasn't SO ill I might well break into one of
his songs). I know it all sounds slightly pathetic when you write it
down, but to be fair I am feeling slightly pathetic too.
As i
say, I should be writing this from the sofa all tucked up in my red
snuggy, watching a bit of day time TV. But I'm not! I'm sat behind my
desk at work trying to pretend I can cope with the mad day ahead of me!
Trouble is it's one of those things I always feel guilty about, I know
it's a bit mad. (Hello! Have you met me?) I guess I'm of the opinion
that unless I'm actually throwing up or passed out I could actually
still do my job. I have so much to do again today as well, that I didn't
really feel I had much choice.
Sorry about being a Moaning
Minnie, especially on a Blessed Friday as well. See I must be ill, I
haven't once talked about frolicking or skipping or dancing like nobody
is watching, or hugging random strangers or the promise of a warm spring
just around the corner. You see it would of been a really good Friday
posting if I wasn't so poorly. Definitely one of those days where I wish
I was allowed to wear slippers into work, like I used to.
Still here's hoping you Friday is filled with all of those good things
I've mentioned. Stay lovely, because that is indeed what you are!
Oh
dear, oh dear, sorry about this, but I had a rubbish nights sleep last
night and so I'm feeling all unnecessary this morning. I am literally
all dither. Not even having a great big sing song in the car on the way
here helped the slightest. Mind you, the only song playing on my short
journey that I managed to catch the whole of was Temptation by Heaven
17. Which I have to be honest is not that easy to sing all the elements
yourself, ("Lead us not into Temp-ta-tion-AWWWWW") See! It just goes all
over the place! In fact, I think I might of hurt my throat as well,
trying to get the high bits. See feeling totally pathetic.
I
just had one of those nights when you go through you're normal bedtime
routine before our head hits the pillow, whatever it may be. We all have
one, so don't deny it. Anyway, I did all that and then just failed
massively at the sleeping part. I even had to do the thing where you go
back downstairs to fix yourself a hot milky drink,
because obviously that helps. I did drift off eventually but it was at
least 2 and a half hours later than I would normally be asleep. So when
the alarm went off this morning my brain was so confused it couldn't
even remember how to turn the alarm off straight away. Still, the day
carries on anyway, it waits for no man as they say. Although it would be
nice in such circumstances it did pause for the amount of sleep time
you missed so you could catch up with yourself wouldn't it.
So
what happening today? Well we've got the left overs of The Budget to
sit through if you go anywhere near a news programme today. They seem to
want to talk about nothing else the day after the boredom of Budget
Day. They'll have various people coming in all saying something
completely different about how it's going to effect us all, just so
we're even more confused than we were to start with.
Also we've
got a new Arch Bish being enthroned today. Justin BeiberWelbyTimberlake
I believe he's called or something like that. 'Enthroned' ay, sounds
very impressive doesn't it, although it could also sound like your
having a day spent on the loo, just like the Queen did earlier on this
year.(Begging your pardon mam) Mind you a didn't see any white puffs of
smoke to signify his appointment did you? Shame really, I do enjoy a
good Conclave as you know. Perhaps we could of done something different.
Like getting the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra to belt out "Jerusalem"
while the Red Arrows fly over St Pauls billowing plumes of red and white
smoke, as he's the head of the Church of England. Ooo 'plumes' that's a
lovely word isn't it! 'Plumes' Sorry said it too much now, it sounds
weird. 'Plumes'. Sorry.
Right, well I really must face the day,
as unready for it as I may be. Just soldier on, and shuffle about until
the coffee kicks in I suppose. Still it is Friday Eve which is
something to be celebrated. Really hoping your day has started more
bright eyed and bushy tailed than mine has. See you tomorrow.
Oh
hello there, sorry I'm a bit out of sorts this morning. I'm having one
of those mornings where you don't quite feel that you've woken up
properly yet. I had a very dream-filled sleep last night, (I won't bore
you with the random details of it) but I'm sure that if you have a sleep
with a lot of dreams in, you can actually feel quite exhausted by it
all come the morning. Yes of course I suppose it really depends on what
you dream out! (Naughty!) But still, I'm just feeling I could of done
with an extra hour of sleep this morning. Of course, I blame the far too
tempting home made cheese straws. I
had one before bed time you see. Well it was just sitting there in it's
little purple plastic box in the kitchen, tempting me with it's
yumminess!
So yes probably my own fault, but I am allowed to
still moan about it though aren't I? Well I'm here and up now, so may as
well just slurp me coffee and crack on with things I suppose. Y-Y-Y-Y-YAAAWWWWWWWWWN. Sorry about that, so tired.
Just to add an even bigger 'yawn' factor today is the day Mr Osborne
comes outside and shows everyone his tatty briefcase! (Never understood
why they do that!). I mean it doesn't happen in any other part of
politics or society does it? You don't see work men coming out of their
little red and white striped tents, holding a shovel above their heads
to show everyone before they start work. Mind you it's a jolly good
thing gynecologists don't do it either! See now you've got an image!
Sorry about that! (*sniggers*)
Yes I know it's very important
and extremely serious stuff that goes on that effects us all in some way
or another, but BY CRIKEY it's boring! I remember being younger and
always dreading the budget day. It was like every time the budget
happened all the good programmes I wanted to watch were suddenly on BBC2
and mum insisted on having the budget on. Plus it it nearly always done
on a grey, wet and dull day. So going outside wasn't really an option.
In fact the weather just added to the grey grim nature of the day. Even
the weather was bored!
I'd much rather Mr Osborne came outside
and showed everyone his Budgie! I mean that would be quite nice wouldn't
it! Or maybe get the 'Mr Osborne' doing The Budget to be Ozzy! That
would be brilliant!! Certainly make it a little more entertaining
anyway. I mean we all know what's going to be happening anyway, the cost
of beer and fags will go up, then they'll blow a little smoke on us by
telling us they've done something nice for a people. Before it's
actually revealed that most of us will be slightly worse off than we
were before. Call me a crazy soothsayer if you will, but this is what is
going to happen today.
Well here's hoping we all managed to
get through this particularly sleepy dull day without experiencing too
much sudden narcolepsy! Look after yourselves.
Good day to you, I trust you survived Monday
relatively unscathed? See! It was over before we knew it and now we've
only got a four day week to cope with. That sounds much better doesn't
it? Well here we are "To You Stay" or The Tuesday if you prefer. I
thought that it might sound a lot nicer if I just referred to it as "To
You Stay" which I think you'll find it does.
Sorry, I'm having trouble here,
trying to type while scooping through my hearty bowl of Ready Brek. Not
easy, I can tell you. In fact you really can't do both things at the
same time. Just give me a minute will you? . . . . .There, that's
better, all done. Nom nom nom. I do like a good hot bowl of porridge.
There's something rather nostalgic and comforting about it. Plus of
course you can pretend it's gruel and you just received you bowl after
asking "Please Sir, can I have some more?" Which is good, because then
you can launch into the song "Food, Glorious Food" "Hot sausage and
mustard!, While we're in the mood – Cold jelly and custard!, Pease
pudding and saveloys!". Sorry, couldn't resist. That's a good musical
that, although I do prefer My Fair Lady myself. Hmmm perhaps I should of
kept that kind of information to myself.
See I feel quite
pumped up and eager to carry now I've had a good sing song. Hold on!
Maybe that's the answer!? The way to beat a The Tuesday. Start the day
by belting out a tune of your choice, but one that leaves you with a
smile. So don't go choosing "All by Myself" or "Against All Odds" I
think that would make the situation far far worse. Something that would
get you up on the dance floor or a song that makes you smile.
You see, all those years we sat crossed legged in Assembly belting out
such songs as 'All things Bright and Beautiful', 'If I had a Hammer' and
the classic 'We mustn't forget'. They were just getting us to have a
good old sing song so we were pumped up and ready for they day. I'm sure
there is bound to be some science behind it.
So get yourself
up have a nice big stretch! Take a deep breath in and stick on some
music you can sing along to, I guarantee you will feel 10 times better
going into the rest of the day than you would of done without it. Now go
ahead and actually enjoy your "To you stay".
P.S. What song did you choose by the way? :)
As
the late, great Michael Jackson said whilst accompanied by his brothers
"Can you feel it? . . Can you feel it? . . CAN YOU FEEL IT!?". Why yes
thank you very much indeed, I can indeed feel it, and the feeling is
that of yet another glorious FRIDAY which has gently landed itself on
our very laps and is presently shifting it's position to make sure it's
good and comfy. Going to stop there as I'm not sure I'm very sure about
that metaphor now I've said it.
Anyway, moving on. Don't you
just love a good Friday and indeed a Good Friday which will be winging
along before we know it. Yes I know it's a bit grey, wet and murky out
there, but it's still a Friday also it's a Comic Relief Friday as well,
so there's bound to lot's of pleasant shenanigans occurring later as
well. You may well even be taking part in some kind of sponsored
shenanigans yourself for all I know.
Still today I would
finally like to approach the taboo subject of 'farting'. (said in a
mouthed whisper) Yes please forgive me if you are easily offended but I
need to share my views, because as they say they are "better out than
in!". Or least that's what most people say to babies when they do it. Or
they even go one step further, (must resist singing "One Step Further
by EuroVision 1982 British entry Bardo") and tell them how clever they
are for doing it! That kind of appreciation doesn't last very long as
you grow up, let me tell you.
Now I was always brought up to
believe that ladies never did it, especially Mums! To this day I'm
certain my Dad has never heard my mum do it! It always was and still is
frowned upon by dear Mum. However as I've got older I have discovered
that this really isn't true! We all do it! Farting, botty burps, trouser
coughs, pumps, trumps or blow offs! Whatever you wish to call them,
they happen to us all.
Now I know there are probably some
amongst you who are embarrassed when they do. There are also some among
your that quite obviously aren't! All in all I think it depends on whose
company you're in. Unless you are one of those people who frankly have
no shame at all. (You know who you are!) You see, there is the crux of
the point I am going to make. I think it all comes down to trust and how
free you feel when you are with that person.
You see, and some
of you may not agree with me I know, I myself see them as the unwritten
gauge of how much to love and trust someone and how free you feel to be
able to be totally yourself with them. Because if you didn't know
someone well enough you certainly wouldn't feel you could openly pass
wind in front of them! Sometimes it can actually take months before you feel open enough to share that particular aspect of your life. Of course once you have, you do tend to make up for lost time afterwards maybe.
So next time your
husband/wife/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend does it, see it as what it is.
A compliment that they love and trust you enough to be able to do it in
your presence. So if you are the one who is dropping the ill wind, you
might even want to add, "You're welcome" to the end of it!
Oh
and let's not forget, on today of all days they still are one of the
funniest things ever known to man! The worse the smell the funnier they
are in groups of men of course. FACT! Still, I'm glad I've got that out
my system (as it very much were). I'm very glad I've now 'aired 'my
views, so to speak! (snigger snigger). Hope I didn't put you of your
breakfast! Do have you selves fun filled, laughter fueled, frivolous
Friday. I'll see you all at the beginning of class on Monday.
Good
grief I can't actually believe it Friday Eve has snuck upon us once
again! I know it's been said before, but as we get older time does
definitely seem to be traveling a lot quicker than it used to. Not that
we're old of course, I mean look at us! We're nought but Spring
Chickens! Ahh I remember the day we had some Spring, last Tuesday I
think it was. That's not this Tuesday just gone, it's the one before.
(Yes, that's the phrase we all use, after referring to a day of the
previous week). Sorry I'm babbling again, I'm like a constant babbling
stream me, I have very little content, I'm very shallow, my
conversations are constantly flowing, and normally heading downhill.
Well, we finally have a new The Pope as well, Pope Francis. I note that
he doesn't have any of those la de dar numbers after his name either.
Just plain old Pope Francis, which is nice. Although wouldn't it be good
if there was a Pope Bob or a Pope Stan. I think I shall call the new
The Pope, 'Pope Frank' he sounds even more friendly as Pope Frank. I'm
going to miss not having the conclave going on though, all that watching
chimney's for white smoke stuff. It means I can't make any more gags
about how they should choose the new The Pope anymore! Very Sad.
Still he seems very nice and smiley, which of course is how all of us
who aren't of Catholic persuasion judge the new Popes when they come
along. He also seems to have a good sense of humor as well, very
important that, I should imagine. Apparently when he found out he was
going to be the next The Pope he went and had a sit down with the rest
of the Cardinals and had a glass of wine (also only to be applauded)
then he raised a glass and said to them "May God forgive you". At which
point they all fell about laughing! (Obviously doesn't take much to
tickle a Cardinal). Although I'm pretty sure there are probably rules
about not tickling Cardinals in general.
Right well I must let
you get on, I can see you're very busy and still have lots to do,
although I really would concentrate on getting dressed first, what your
wearing is just a little inappropriate for reading Facebook if you ask
me! Have some decorum! See you all on The Blessed Friday!
It's beginning to look a lot like Monday,
Everywhere you go,
Take a look at the car and then, scrape the snow off once again,
It's bleedin cold and we don't want the snow!
It's beginning to look a lot like Monday,
Work is such a chore,
But the unholiest sight to see, is what's waiting for you and me,
Just outside our door.
So go zip up your boots, we're not going back to our roots,
It's just snowy and icy and then,
After the weather mans talk, do we decide just to walk,
Or risk taking the car, like real men,
And all the kids are calling for a snow day once again.
It's beginning to look a lot like Monday,
Everywhere you go,
This day is going to be hell, there's mountains of work as well,
The stressful kind, that doesn't allow for snow.
It's beginning to look a lot like Monday,
May as well make a start,
Soon the phones will ring, and the clients will be moaning,
Oh please have a heart,
It's beginning to look a lot like Monday,
Work is such a chore,
But the unholiest sight to see, is what's waiting for you and me,
Just outside our door.
Sure it's Monday, once more!
