Love from the heart of my bottom.

As the late, great Michael Jackson said whilst accompanied by his brothers "Can you feel it? . . Can you feel it? . . CAN YOU FEEL IT!?". Why yes thank you very much indeed, I can indeed feel it, and the feeling is that of yet another glorious FRIDAY which has gently landed itself on our very laps and is presently shifting it's position to make sure it's good and comfy. Going to stop there as I'm not sure I'm very sure about that metaphor now I've said it.

Anyway, moving on. Don't you just love a good Friday and indeed a Good Friday which will be winging along before we know it. Yes I know it's a bit grey, wet and murky out there, but it's still a Friday also it's a Comic Relief Friday as well, so there's bound to lot's of pleasant shenanigans occurring later as well. You may well even be taking part in some kind of sponsored shenanigans yourself for all I know.

Still today I would finally like to approach the taboo subject of 'farting'. (said in a mouthed whisper) Yes please forgive me if you are easily offended but I need to share my views, because as they say they are "better out than in!". Or least that's what most people say to babies when they do it. Or they even go one step further, (must resist singing "One Step Further by EuroVision 1982 British entry Bardo") and tell them how clever they are for doing it! That kind of appreciation doesn't last very long as you grow up, let me tell you.

Now I was always brought up to believe that ladies never did it, especially Mums! To this day I'm certain my Dad has never heard my mum do it! It always was and still is frowned upon by dear Mum. However as I've got older I have discovered that this really isn't true! We all do it! Farting, botty burps, trouser coughs, pumps, trumps or blow offs! Whatever you wish to call them, they happen to us all.

Now I know there are probably some amongst you who are embarrassed when they do. There are also some among your that quite obviously aren't! All in all I think it depends on whose company you're in. Unless you are one of those people who frankly have no shame at all. (You know who you are!) You see, there is the crux of the point I am going to make. I think it all comes down to trust and how free you feel when you are with that person.

You see, and some of you may not agree with me I know, I myself see them as the unwritten gauge of how much to love and trust someone and how free you feel to be able to be totally yourself with them. Because if you didn't know someone well enough you certainly wouldn't feel you could openly pass wind in front of them! Sometimes it can actually take months before you feel open enough to share that particular aspect of your life. Of course once you have, you do tend to make up for lost time afterwards maybe.

So next time your husband/wife/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend does it, see it as what it is. A compliment that they love and trust you enough to be able to do it in your presence. So if you are the one who is dropping the ill wind, you might even want to add, "You're welcome" to the end of it!

Oh and let's not forget, on today of all days they still are one of the funniest things ever known to man! The worse the smell the funnier they are in groups of men of course. FACT! Still, I'm glad I've got that out my system (as it very much were). I'm very glad I've now 'aired 'my views, so to speak! (snigger snigger). Hope I didn't put you of your breakfast! Do have you selves fun filled, laughter fueled, frivolous Friday. I'll see you all at the beginning of class on Monday.