St George's Day by George!

Oh hello there! How are we this morning? Well I trust? Good! I just wish I could say the same! I'm sorry to say, I am feeling decidedly fed up and a bit sorry for myself now, as my horrible, bunged up, can't breathe without coughing, which then gives you a sore tickly throat, cold is still ravaging my head. I've had it since Thursday and I don't really like to go on about it, but I don't get them very often so when I do, they always come as a bit of shock as to how long they hang around for. Wretched thing. I should of put Vic on me chest last night I think, (No! Stop it!! You're just making your own jokes now!) I had some Vic on me chest on Sunday night and I actually think it helped ease my breathing a bit. Still I won't go on about it, the day must continue, the week must march onwards anyway.

Today of course, is not just another dreaded 'The Tuesday' it is also St George's Day by George! Yes good old St George, We always see him as this iconic English figure but he was in fact Greek I believe, much like our Royal Family of course. So the way I see it, you can't get much more English than being Greek!

So what did St George do anyway? I think we all know the famous story of St George and the Dragon. Although I do have my own thoughts about that too. You see, whenever you see a picture of George and the Dragon, the dragon is always pictured as being quite small as dragons go. It's normally shown to be about the size of a large dog! Now what you must remember at this point is that stories have a life of their own, as any reader of Terry Pratchett will know. Stories are living things that grow and get bigger and change as they are retold time after time. Normally this involves exaggerating the facts so they seem more impressive. Now if this is true in the case of St George, does that mean that the relatively small dragon was being greatly exaggerated? Maybe all George did was kill a garden lizard that someone was scared of, like some of us being scared of spiders! Perhaps he was just passing someones house and heard a yelp and squeal and popped his head round to see what was occurring. He saw Mrs Smith standing on a chair squealing and pointing at a small confused lizard on the floor who had wandered in under the back door. Which George then got rid of. So Mrs Smith then tells her neighbour what happened and how kind George was, that neighbour tells her neighbour and then one thing leads to another and all of a sudden George is being hailed a Dragon Slayer! Makes you wonder doesn't it!

It also makes you wonder how we should be celebrating St George's Day though. Obviously another Bank Holiday should be given for it, although I think it should be a roaming bank holiday. So that whatever day St George's Day falls on that year should be the Bank Holiday. I'd quite fancy a Bank Holiday Tuesday! Now I know what you're thinking, what if it falls at the weekend? Well then we would have a Bank Holiday Friday or a Monday depending on which day it was nearer to. Just like I normally do to celebrate my birthday with. (Haha! Excellent! Still managed to get another birthday mention in there!).

Maybe we should eat special food for St George's Day as well? I dunno maybe something like a good Doner Kebab, or Shish Kebabs with some Feta based salad? Something that is obviously Greek but screams English as well you see. Now the traditional drink of St George's Day should really be an English Real Ale of some kind, we've got enough of them! Maybe there could be a different Real Ale celebrated every year, so they all get a look in? I think maybe we should all celebrate it whatever way we wish to really. After all, any excuse for a day of celebrating is a good excuse I reckon.

Right well I must get on. See you tomorrow!

6 days and counting . . .

Gooooooooooooood morning, good morning, good morning, good morning and a very warm and snuggly welcome to you on this otherwise fine day. I say otherwise fine, because it is of course still a Monday. Well, youngest son number 2 had his birthday shenanigans yesterday along with The Queen of course. Good morning Mam, (as in harm not as in ham. . . or is it the other way around?) *performs small curtsy* and I don't know about him, but I enjoyed it! We did of course all nip out briefly to The Acorns (Beefeater) on Saturday evening with friend Sean in tow, well he is part of the family really and we were marking mine and his birthdays as well. So we proudly strode into the place with me and Sean wearing hugely over-sized 40 badges on our chests as supplied by son number 1 of course. So that was nice, even if I was beaten on the head with a stack of menu's by the good Lady Tidy because apparently I was being rude!! (ME!! RUDE!!) I know, I wouldn't believe it either! All I was doing was trying to attract our waiters attention in an amusing way! To be fair, they were pretty busy in there, but I still saw it as a fun challenge. I had tried waving and quietly calling his name, I even tried the "Coooeeee" approach to no avail. So instead I opted for the shouting of the word "YO!" at the top of my voice and then looking the other way, so it wouldn't look like it was aimed at him at all. Which was the point at which menus were used as a head smacker. Still it did work! Well it's a giggle isn't it!

Well there is only 6 more days to go until mine now and I am of course literally beside myself with excitement! "Ooo hello there, other me sitting beside me! My, I must say you are looking rougher than a rhino's scrotum this morning!!" Sorry! No, I'm sorry, that was crass even for me! I mean you might be having your breakfast or something, and you don't want to be thinking of that while you're eating. Especially if you're having something with plums! Sorry! Oh I'm sorry I did it again, I shall just stop myself there I think. I am still feeling really rather rough and cold-ridden this morning though. I've been on the "Cold & Flu" stuff since Saturday and they do help of course, although you are very aware when the effects wear off, as your throat seems to close up and you suddenly can't speak or breathe again.

So yes I am feeling a bit sorry for myself, which I think is allowed and fair when you are full of cold and yuck surely? Especially as despite that I am still at work, keeping the nation going with my particular blend of creative gorgeousness, by getting up and jolly well getting on with things as is the British way! Hark at me blowing my own trumpet! (Well somebody's got to do it! There is nothing sadder than an unblown trumpet you know)

So yes, only 6 more days to go to take part in 'Carl Aid 40' so do it today and avoid the delay! Beat the postal rush of the last few days and get ya fiver filled cards in early I say! heehee. Still, do have yourself the best darn Monday you are able to, see you tomorrow! xx

April showers

PHILOSOPHICAL PHURSDAY: Blimey, I haven't worn my Philosophical trousers for quite some time. I amazed they still fit! Well good morning class . . .*awaits chorus of response* . . . I hope I find you all in a state of bright-eyedness and exhibiting an enormously bushy-tail. Doesn't it look gorgeous out there this morning! In fact it looks SO nice out, I think I might leave it out! (Sorry, I couldn't help myself. I had to say it.) Well it seems Spring has finally found the energy to of sprung, the bright happy daffodils are coming out, the sunshine is making a break for freedom even if there is still a bit of a nip in the air. People are wandering about with more of a smile on their faces, I even saw the first bumble bee of the year yesterday. Ahhh. Of course as I'm writing this a cloud has come over and started raining it's very heavy load. Still we are in April, so we have to take the occasional April shower, thems the rules sadly. Still, as they say "into every day filled with sunshine a little rain still has to fall" 'they' in this case being me of course.

It's true in life too of course. As much as we would like things to be perfect and sunny and happy all of the time, there will always be the odd thundercloud that will rear it's ugly head, skirt overhead and then drench us from head to foot from time to time. These clouds of drenching may even last a lot longer than we would like them to at times too. Although it would be unrealistic to think that we can have constant sunshine in our lives all of the time. In fact I would go as far to say, as it would be wrong if we did. A flower in bloom is a delicate and beautiful thing, but to get there it needed both sunshine and rain to be able to grow to it's full potential. The same applies to us I'm afraid as well.

I'm not saying we should be all doom and gloom and always expect the worse and become lifelong paid up members of the Pessimistic Society. It's always sound advice to try and go through life on the sunny side of the street, just don't let the odd thunder storm cloud your demeanor. ('Cloud' . . do you see what I did there, brilliant!) I just think we must learn to accept the times when we are under that cloud, because like all clouds, no matter how big they are or how long they stay overhead, do pass over us eventually and there will be bright sunshine once again. *looks outside, to see it has just proved my point by being all bright and sunny again!* Which when you find yourself under one of those dark clouds is a great thing to hold on to.

Look after yourselves, and each other.

Sir Rantsalot Strikes Again

Well good morning, good day and happy Wednesday to you. Well according the the really quite lovely Carol Kirkwood on the BBC it's going to be warm and windy today. Which sounds lovely, unless you're describing a packed commuter carriage or a small lift with lots of people in it. Trust me, a lift is never good for that kind of thing, people very much frown upon it! Although, warm and windy kind of makes me think of warm beaches with white sand that's too hot to walk on in bare feet, and the tropical breeze gently blowing through the leaves of the palm trees, creating a gentle whisper which compliments the brushing of the serene tide as it laps against the shore. Sadly what we have instead seems to be mild, very still and a bit grey and damp. Could do better Mrs Kirkwood!! Please see me after class about using the correct adjectives when summing up the weather!

Of course if you are watching the news today, the weather will be the only break you will get in the constant running commentary of Mrs Thatchers funeral! Now you see, again I don't mind the BBC covering it when it happens, that is quite right and how it should be, but do they have to be there at 6:00 in the morning describing what will be happening later in microscopic detail before it actually does? It just seems a little daft to me. Yes by all means mention that it's going to be happening of course, but please don't seemingly dedicate the whole of the news to it!

Sorry about that, rant over. The weather is about right for today though, I think it helps add to the slightly downcast mental state needed for a funeral. I do of course hope it all goes ok and that certain groups of people don't spoil it and turn it into something else. I mean if you're going to attend the funeral by lining the streets, surely you should show an once of decency and respect to her family and not start acting like an arse just so you can be seen on national telly supposedly making a stand for your beliefs. Today should be about showing respect for a lost life and giving comfort to her family and celebrating the life of a great and iconic woman who had the balls to stand up for what she believed in, all be it right or wrong. In a time when women were very much still seen but not heard in the most part.

Sorry, second rant over with! Blimey that's two today! I'm a right little Sir Rantsalot today aren't I. It's just that disrespect is one of my huge niggles I have with the world in general and I try to squash it whenever it pokes it's ugly head in any way shape or form.

Right, must get on. Lots to do, all very busy here. Now where's me coffee? . . . Bum! I've left it in the kitchen area. Well must dash, keep warm, stay safe and look after yourselves the best that you can.

Two wrongs . . .

Morning. I really don't feel that my normal lighthearted bounce would be very appropriate this morning. When tragic things like what happened in Boston occur it tends to catch you off guard and take the wind from your sails. The worst thing being with things like this is that generally speaking one violent act quite often leads to more, using the first one as a reason for the second. It's sad that the first human response to these kind of things is quite often thoughts of retaliation. There will be upset and angry people, calling out for more bloodshed and demanding that other people should suffer because of this. They did this to us, so let's do something worse back to them! It sort of calls out for the age old mum saying of "two wrongs don't make a right". It's true of course even cases like this. Yes, going out and doing something horrible to those people who are responsible may seem like the fair thing to do, and it may well make some people feel better about what has already been done, but that doesn't fix the problem at the heart of it and generally speaking just makes things even worse than they were before.

Now at the moment nobody seems to know who is behind it and what their reasons were, however one thing is for sure, whatever there reasons, they are never going to be a good excuse for what happened. What is amazing, and frankly something that we should be thankful for is the fact that not more people were killed as a result. Although of course any loss of any lives in these circumstances is a tragic waste. My thoughts of course go out to all the three families who have lost someone because of it, who have had someone taken away from them so suddenly and in such a terrible way.

So here's hoping and praying that whatever comes out about what happened that it is dealt with in a sensible way and not out of anger and retaliation, because no one is able to think clearly so soon after what seems like a personal attack on them and their way of living.

Right, now I've said my piece I think it's only right that I should now try and carry on as normally as I can. (Normal of course being a relative word in my case). So sorry for being all serious heavy this morning, (although I will always find it difficult to be anything other than heavy with my stature and girth) but thanks for listening anyway.

Well by jingo and call me Bernard if it isn't jolly old Monday once more. So how have you been? Did you have a good weekend? Did you get up to much? . . . Really!! NO WAY! I thought that was actually illegal? . . . Oh it is! . . . Oh I see. Well what did they do with all the sausages and the Coatimundi's afterwards? I see, well I'm sure it'll be fine, their fur will probably grow back soon. Sorry? How was mine? Oh you know, same old, same old, nothing exciting really. Nice though, it's actually quite nice just generally pottering about in ya slippers. In fact I really enjoy a nice slow weekend of just pottering about, watching some rubbish on the telly and putting ya feet up. Maybe a cheeky Saturday afternoon snooze if you can get away with it too. lovely.

Well here we are, Monday morning looming over us like the Hooded Claw saying things like "I'll get you . . . . . . . . . . . ." (insert full name in here). "HAYELP HAYELP". Still the bright side being of course that it is now definitely starting to look more Springish out there! Yes I know Saturday was very wet, but you have to expect some of the drip drip drop of April showers surely. Sunday was lovely in the most part though wasn't it! Very Springy and sunny. Gorgeous! Oh and I also found out, if you're interested, that one of the likely contestants on Strictly this year may very well be Louise Minchin from BBC Breakfast News! It was hinted at during a conversation she was having with Edwina Curry live on the news on Saturday morning . . . Yes I watch the news from time to time . . . Tuh RUDE!

Well we're now well into the birthday month here at Tidy Towers, the BIG is approaching soon! So don't forget, to pester your favourite celebs to send me well wishes and to get your birthday cards in early of course for the big day #CarlAid40. tee hee!

Right, I have much to do and many coffee's to drink.

Toodle pips!

Two weeks to go! . . .

It's here! It's Friday! It's the start of the weekend! This calls for some classic Jacksons! Can you feel it, . . can you feel it, . . CAN YOU FEEL IT! A song which in my mind was frankly ruined by Tamperer featuring Maya in the late 90s! I mean "What's she gonna look like with a chimney on her?" I ask you! What kind of nonsense is that? Trust me, I know about writing nonsense as you can see, I'm a bit of an expert in the field, but really! A chimney!! That my friend is just silly.

Now I'm afraid I must become slightly serious for a bit. * Clears throat, shuffles in chair. . . adjusts hair . . . adopts stern face (Yes I have one of those I thank you SO very much! RUDE!)* As a nation we always do incredibly well in special charitable days, even in these times of economic downturn. Comic Relief has managed to raise a staggering £75,107,851 for good causes both home and abroad. However, I now ask you to dig deep once again. Today is Friday the 12th of April 2013 and we are now only 16 days away from a very special day of giving. Carl Aid. Yes this year will see Carl reach his 40th year and his needs are greater now than ever.

Every time I click my fingers *click* another joint starts to creak *click* another possible grey hair may appear *click* another niggling pain which he'd never noticed before suddenly becomes a reality *click* another set of stairs become harder to climb *click* another wrinkle appears where there wasn't one before *click*. But together we can stop this. For just one day we can make all these struggles seem to pale into the background and become unimportant. All it takes is for us to select a birthday card from any high street branch of card sellers. Then insert just one crisp new £5 note or whatever you can afford into the card, and post it to his address, clearing marking the envelope "Carl Aid 40".

We can bring a smile of joy to the face and the heart of this particularly needy individual. We can make his world a better place, for just one day. So I urge you to give what you can because together, we CAN make a difference. Thank you for listening.

Heehee! Such fun! Sorry about that, but there is only two weeks to go! OR only two more fridays to go!! Excitement much is going on over here I can tell you! Oh and I have just noticed, apparently Burgess Hill now has a Steak House!! Who knew!? When did this happen? How was I not informed? This may need some serious investigations! *rubs hands together*

Make sure you have an absolutely blinding Friday! Not that I wish you to become blind of course, that would be weird and cruel. Just have a good one instead. See you Monday! xx