Oddness abounds

Well bless my denim shorts and call me Maurice if it isn't The Tuesday already.And to coin a well used phrase "it's turned out nice again", well at least for the time being or so I'm led to believe. Looks like we might well be losing the precious sunshine for a day or two. So make the most of it before it hides away I say. Having said that, it does already seem to be hiding behind a curtain of hazy cloud. Although it is still quite warm out, so I think I shall leave it out! (phnar phnar)

I do have a question on my lips this morning though, I saw something on the way into work this morning that is puzzling me. Now I know, throughout my life I have seen and experienced some very strange things first hand. I seem to attract odd happenings, I'm a bit like a phenomena magnet (Phenomena . . . Do Doo, da doo doo) (Sorry couldn't help myself) I it must be just the way I'm made. I mean only last year I saw a couple of people walking their elephant, which was on a lead, across a bridge over the A2300 as I was driving home. Which did cause me to question why? Still, leaving that aside this morning as I was driving back to Burgess Hill, having driven all the way to work and totally forgetting to post Lady T's prescription through the doctors letterbox on the way past. (No that's not a euphemism) I noticed something laying at the side of the road.

Now I know it's not unusual to see various wildlife sadly laying at the side of the road, after being hit by a car. I think we're all used to seeing rabbits and foxes and more than often badgers sunbathing on the soft verges or the hard shoulder, but this was none of the usual victims. What was laying on the verge looking to all the world like it had been hit, and had peacefully decided to take it's final rest there was an enormous fish!

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but huge fish don't normally find themselves being in traffic related deaths do they!? I was definitely a fish before you ask, I slowed right down as I went past, just to be sure. It was enormous! Well about 2 feet long, but big enough as fish go, it was a dark browny colour with light creamy spots all over it. Although it didn't look like any carp or rudd or the usual kind of fish, it had a massive head with a huge gaping mouth and a relatively small body, although it's fins at the sides were quite large too. So it definitely started out in the sea somewhere I would think.

Now I know there's probably a very reasonable and boring explanation for this, although I can't think of one off the top of my head. Just seems a little odd to me so I thought I should share it with the class to see if they could offer any ideas? So do please share your thoughts, or go and pick it up and have a good look at it if ya like! It's just before the entrance to the Bolney Estate business Park where I spend my days.

Still, must dash as I have bigger fish to fry today! (hehe! Did ya see what I did there!?) Toodle pips!

Sail on!

Good morning, and good day to you. Yes, I'm afraid the Moanday beast has once again reared it's ugly, disfigured head over the otherwise bright horizon and is grinning it's malevolent smile directly our way. Although I am pleased to say, that I'm pretty sure that it's usual powers of casting hopelessness into our consciousness are failing this morning.

Let's face it, the weekend was glorious! It has definitely been a weekend of shorts and smiles. For me of course, the two go very much hand in hand. Sunshine = Smiles. And today looks as though it will just be more of the same. So go ahead and wear your shorts, or find that floaty top you like like to wear when the sunshine is coming out to play. Wear a smile and dress less is the general rule of thumb. As today promises to be another winner and who am I to doubt it.

Mondays really don't have to be Moandays. It's only if we let the little rascal have it's way, give in and succumb to the downward spiral it tries to push us into. If we can bask in the sunshine, even for a little while and keep the weekend smiles on our faces, I'm almost certain Monday will lose it's sting. Who knows, we may even make it through to home time with that cheeky grin still showing.

So let's frolic in our own metaphorical field of daffodils or skip beside the waters edge, at the seemingly endless, empty white sandy beach. Let's cartwheel across the birdsong filled buttercup meadows or just lay back on a grassy hill surrounded by breathtaking views and count the white fluffy clouds overhead. Whatever floats your metaphorical boat today, jump on board and let it sail into the sunshine.

See you all tomorrow!

The Beast is dead!

Twas the year of our Lord twenty thirteen. A week had passed since the Summer Solstice and there was much righteous bellowing and rejoicing throughout the land. Eighteen fattened boar's had been prepared in the castle's kitchens for the feast and a ball had been planned to mark this most glorious of occasions.

For the Job Bag Beast had been vanquished and The Work Monster slain. The word had spread like a wild fire throughout the Kingdom, the populous and his kinfolk were now awaiting the return of their heroic champion for the celebrations to begin in earnest. When their blooded and battle weary warrior would finally be reunited and welcomed back to the bosom of his companions.

Oh yes!! I am now officially the Prince of the Printers. The Emperor of the Epsons. The Viscount of the Vinyl and The Duke of Design. The monolith of the job that has been hanging over me all week is done! I am in fact quite surprised myself that it is finally all over! I'm even more surprised that it's all over this morning! I definitely still expected to be immersed in stressful busyness until close of play today.

Still done it is, so let the the Friday festoons swing from the rafters and the glad tidings of the weekend was over us and become like sweet music to our ears. I literally do feel like a massive weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Huzzah! huzzah! and thrice Huzzah!

So I shall leave all you prepossessing people to revel in your own particular brand of Friday whimsy and shall see you all after the weekend. If not before!

Tuesday is as Tuesday does.

Well, let's just say I'm quite pleased that Monday is out of the way this week. Honestly I was like a bear with a sore head most of the day. Which really wasn't helped yesterday evening, by one of the cats knocking over a full tall glass of Coke Zero which I had only just got myself. You'd be amazed at just how far a pint of Coke can go when knocked over! Seriously, I am pretty horrible when I've got a cob on. Definitely best avoided at all costs.

I'm not even sure what the cause of it was to be honest. I think I must of just got out the wrong side of bed or something. Although I think if I tried to get out the other side of bed The Tremendous Lady T would be slightly annoyed. As I'm not sure waking somebody up by clambering over them, just for the sake of trying to get out of bed the other side would necessarily go down very well. In fact I think it may way have ramifications onto her disposition.

Whatever it was it does seem to of passed thankfully anyway. Who knew I could actually feel better about things when a The Tuesday raised it's little head over the horizon? Mind you even though it's not particularly warm yet, the sun does appear to be making an effort on it's part, which does always help.

Although the day hasn't started brilliantly so far, I have already managed to submerge my hands into a sink full of water mixed with a very large percentage of bleach in it. You see when I got in this morning I saw a note on my desk and I thought to myself, 'that'll be some kind of work instruction that I need to carry out. I'll just go and pop the kettle on first before I look at it'. So I trotted off to the kitchen area of the building to find the fridge pulled away from the wall and a small plastic tray in the sink. Wondering what it was I plunged my hands into the sink to have a look at it. That was the point I smelt the bleach. Anyway, I put the kettle on and went back to read the note which said: 'CARL: I have found the source of the smell! It was a plastic catch tray on the back of the fridge. It's now in the sink in lots of BLEACH. So if you need to empty the sink put gloves on as the bleach is very strong.' Normally this would of called for a 'facepalm' moment, but giving the state of my hands it probably wouldn't of been the best move on my part.

Ahh hindsight is a wonderful thing as they say. Still you live and learn I suppose I guess the moral of the story is don't avoid notes at the office because they may not always be work instructions. Here's hoping the day gets a little better anyway.

See you little munchkins tomorrow.

Monday. The un-Wanted.

Morning world. Yes I'm afraid it's Monday once more. Once more, the jewel encrusted treasure of the weekend has been taken from us by the hideous, vengeful thief of joy and has been replaced with the soiled pouch of disappointment and emptiness.

Once more, we have awoken confused, bleary eyed and with a heavy heart. Knowing that a fresh week has beeb thrust upon us and there is nought that can be done about it. We have no choice, we must face it, no matter our readiness for it.

Sorry about all the doom and gloom this morning, can't be helped. I unfortunately seem to be suffering from the effects of waking up grumpy. (No there's no need to make jokes about disturbing good Lady T from her slumber. I'm talking about me!) Just woke up in a foul mood this morning, I mean don't get me wrong I have the kind of face that normally looks grumpy and confused first thing in the morning, particularly on a Saturday morning for some reason. Where morning confusion doesn't normally leave my system till gone 11:00am. Which is not always a good thing, considering we are normally up the town by about 9:15am on a Saturday.

Still, awoken grumpy I have, nothing I can do about it, so I am sorry about that. Probably best if people avoid me till it goes away. Even on the way into work this morning I slipped into anger at the radio! 'The Wanted' were playing, yes I know this probably is enough to make most people get cross with the audacity of their sheer existence. The thing that annoyed me particularly is their stupid song "Walks like Rihanna" The lyrics to the chorus are "She can't sing, she can't dance, but who cares – she walks like Rihanna.

Now I'm sorry, but has anyone actually made any mental notes on how Rihanna walks?! Now if the song lyric was, "... who cares – she looks like Rihanna" I wouldn't have a problem with it!! She's a very attractive girl! Yes, she's got issues and troubles, but who hasn't! Yes, it's probably true that underneath it all she probably doesn't have a very strong feeling of self worth, but sadly this day and age very few of us do! Sadly though the song doesn't say that it just talks about her walk!! Something that most people, unless it's particularly noteworthy in a unfortunate way, don't really pick up on. I mean yes, some women throughout history like Marylin Monroe and Jane Russell probably had very slinky cat-like walks. Which I suppose could be seen as sexy, but so do a lot of other women. It's not something that differs from one individual to another!

Sorry, the one thing I'm forgetting here, is that a The Wanted song and indeed The Wanted themselves, really aren't important in any way shape or form. And I'm letting it bother me just because I'm in that kind of mood when stuff will bother me and I will get annoyed. Oh dear, I feel sorry for my colleagues this morning.

Once again I apologise for my outlook and cantankerous nature this morning. (Ooo 'cantankerous' there's a good word) I shall of course do my best to snap out of it by tomorrow morning.

IT'S FRIDAY!! Let's have a sing song!

To the tune of ‘Escape (The Pina Colada Song) - by Rupert Holmes)

I was tired of the week days, they all seemed far too long.
Like a worn-out recording, of an old boring song.
So when I woke from sleeping, I read Facebook in bed.
And on somebody’s status, there was an update that read:

“If you like drinking a Radler, and don’t care if it rains.
If you like a good yoghurt, and you’ve only got half-a-brain.
If you like dancing after midnight, in the pub with ya mates.
Now’s the day that you’ve longed for, it’s Friday, let’s escape.”

I didn’t think about the work day, I’ve never been over keen.
But this monday to thursday, was just the same old dull routine.
So I clicked ‘like’ and replied, and started typing like mad.
And though I’m nobody’s poet, I thought it wasn’t half-bad.

“Yes, I like drinking Radler’s, and I don’t care if it rains.
I’m not mad about yoghurt, but I am a little insane.
So let’s meet up it’s Friday night, I could wear my red cape.
At a pub where there’s a dancefloor, it’s Friday, let’s escape."

So the work day just flew by, just after five I left the place.
I was smiling in an instant, I had a beam across my face.
I was free on a Friday, So I met up with friends quite a few
We all had a good laugh, and I said, “I never knew”...

“That you liked drinking a Radler, and didn’t care if it rained.
And why even talk about yoghurt, I fear we must be insane.
So let’s dance till after midnight, well at least until very late.
Don’t you love a good Friday, So here’s to you all my mates”

“If you like drinking a Radler, and don’t care if it rains.
If you like a good yoghurt, and you’ve only got half-a-brain.
If you like dancing after midnight, in the pub with ya mates.
Now’s the day that you’ve longed for, it’s Friday, let’s escape.”

A taste of Summer.

YAaaaawwwn . . . oh dear! Morning by the way. Sorry, but I am feeling more than a little tired this morning. I think I may of slept too heavily (yes, yes please do feel free to insert an easy joke about me being to heavy in here.) I think it must of been due to the early rising of yesterday. Whatever the reason was I was still very much deeply in the land of nod when my alarm beeped into life this morning. The trouble with that is of course is that it leaves your brain in an even more confused state than it would even be normally. So I was slowly shuffling about this morning, before I'd had my shower looking remarkably like a confused grumpy zombie. I sounding like one too, with my occasional confused long groan used instead of speech. Mind you I think we all look and act a bit like that when we are awoken from a particularly deep sleep.

Once I was out of the shower, thing were more or less ok thankfully, but that point I had remembered how to walk and speak. (well more or less) As I said, I think it must of been down the earliness of the day before that must of got me. Although I did find a new drink that I really enjoy yesterday too. Which I polished off a whole pack of yesterday evening!

You see, I saw an advert for this drink on the telly the other day and thought, 'well that sounds disgusting!!' then me being me I thought 'I wonder what it's like?' So the dutiful Lady T put some on the shopping order for this week. So yesterday afternoon, when I finished work around three due to the early start I thought I would crack one open and give it a try. As it seemed to me that it might go down very well with a hot sunny day, which yesterday afternoon was a prime example of. I was not wrong.

It's made by Fosters and it's called Fosters Radler. Basically it a mix of Fosters lager and cloudy lemon. I know!! It sounds disgusting doesn't it!! I mean, I'm really not a big fan of Fosters lager at all. I'm not sure many people of our age are to be honest. I believe that Fosters is really only for people aged between 17 and 20, when you are first practicing the art of drinking. It's a lager for cutting your drinking teeth into before you acquire a proper drinking taste. Although I do like lemony things, so I was willing to try it.

All I can tell you is to put aside your discrimination of Fosters lager and give it a try. On a hot sunny day when the Radler has been chilling in the fridge for at least a day, it really is a joyous, totally refreshing wonder of enjoyment on your tastebuds. It's really is very lovely, the only trouble being is that one is really not enough and pretty soon I had polished off the lot. Sorry, I do apologise, this morning's look at life sounds just like an advert! Still, if something is worth crowing about, crow about it I say! (Other refreshing summer drinks are available)

See you tomorrow! :)