The Tale of the Boiling Water

Once upon a time, teenage daughter came stomping through into the family kitchen, complaining to her mother that her life was miserable and crappy and that she couldn't see it getting better. She was fed up with everything being a fight and a struggle all the time. It seemed to her, that just as one problem was solved, another one soon followed. Her mum pulled out one of the kitchen chairs and just pointed to it. So the daughter gave a big sigh, rolled her eyes and sat down on the kitchen chair with her arms folded. She watched as her mum filled three saucepans with water and placed each on the gas stove, with the heat turn up high.

"Err, mum, what on earth are you doing!?" the daughter asked with more than a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"Just wait" she replied.

Then once the three pans began to boil, she placed a potato in one saucepan, an egg in the second, and ground coffee beans in the third. She then let them sit and boil, without saying a word to her daughter. The daughter, moaned, tutted, and sighed while impatiently waiting, still wondering what her mum was playing at. Then after twenty minutes the mother turned off the burners. Took the potato out of the pan and placed them it a bowl. Then she pulled the egg out and placed that too in a bowl. Then she poured the coffee out and into a mug.

Turning to her daughter, she asked. “What do you see?”

“A potato, an egg and a cup coffee!” the daughter hastily snapped, still with her arms folded.

“Look closer”, the mother said, “touch the potatoes.” So the daughter did and noticed how soft they were.

She then asked her to take the egg and crack it open. So after pulling off the shell, she observed the egg was very hard-boiled.

Finally, she asked her to have a sip of coffee. So she did, the rich aroma filled her nose and actually brought a smile to her face.

“Mum", she asked, "what does all this have to do with me?”

So the mother explained that the potato, the egg and the coffee beans had all faced the same adversary – the boiling water. However, each one reacted differently. The potato went into it strong, hard and unrelenting, but in the boiling water, had became soft and fluffy. The egg was fragile, with it's thin shell protecting its liquid interior until it was put in the boiling water. Then the inside of the egg became hard. However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were exposed to the boiling water, they actually changed the water and created something new.

“Which one are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a potato, an egg, or a coffee bean?”

Do have yourselves a simply gorgeous Friday, I'll see you on the flip side.

This looks like a job for . . .

So today I would like to discuss being unemployed, I know, it’s a scary subject, but it is something we have all had to deal with at some point in our lives, and it is one thing that leads those who experience it down a spiralling slope into to full blown depression. I myself have been made redundant twice before, it’s not nice. It does make you feel utterly worthless. One Christmas Eve many years ago I was even dragged into one of my then boss’s office to be told that they were going to make me redundant that day, but had decided not to, because someone had told them they were planning on leaving. Merry Christmas to you Carl!

The trouble is, you start listening to all the negative statistics and carry them around with you, which only adds to your burden. Things like, “Oh there’s no jobs out there”, “It’s only going to get worse, before it gets better”, “It’s all this governments fault.” and “80% of all th jobs are never advertised anyway, they’re just given to someone they know!”. So my first piece of advice is if you find yourself talking to one of these negative vibers, move away aand go and talk to someone with a bit more interest with how you’re actually feeling!

So how do you give support and help motivate those people who find themselves in this position? I believe that every person is born with the tools to be able to motivate. The main tool is the believing you are in control. We all like doing things that we control. Think about it, what things do you like doing? You’ll find most of them, us being in control is at the center of it all.

There will always be those people, who genuinely think they’re being helpful, talking about how bad it is out there for people to find jobs. Stop it! It isn’t! If someone loses their job and you tell them how bad it is, that’s not helping them with thinking they are in control. Sometime people who find themselves between jobs, go to something like a job club, which is generally full of people who have been unemployed for such a long time, who then give horror stories to this newly unemployed person. This does not help either! Then the news will chip in with it’s latest unemployment rates, which currently is about 7.7% and tell us all how bad that is. All of these things helps the person involved lose any sense of control about their situation.

There are things to help a person who finds themselves currently between jobs gain a little sense of control over their situation. Firstly, stop worrying about the unemployment, it has nothing to do with this person’s abilities and what they can achieve. Then, my advice if you still want to pay attention to those things, would be to make pie chart (well you’ve got a bit of time on your hands) showing the current “Employment Rate” which at the moment is at an encouraging 92.3%! Now those are some good odds! If you ever find yourself in this situation remember that you can beat the odds if you try to focus on staying positive. Remember, you’re not looking for hundreds of jobs, just the one that is meant for you, and every ‘no’ you get is just brings you one step closer to the ‘yes’ you’ve been waiting for.

I know this is going to sound corny but it’s true. Every ending is at the same time, a new beginning, a new opportunity, the next chapter, the start of a new adventure, a chance to grow, a chance to change, or to even try something new. It might even be a time to just rest and to listen to other people.

Do look after yourselves, and each other.

Sleepless in Burgess Hill

Good Monday and howdy doody to you fact fans. Did you know, that every time you take a step, you are using up to 200 muscles! Although, to me it feels like I'm needing around 800 muscles just to lift a leg this morning. Now I know some of this may be down to the fact that it's a Monday, but I'm pretty sure a lot of it stems from not being overly productive in the sleeping department over the weekend. It's been rubbish!

No idea why sadly, it's not like a was laying awake with something specific on my mind. The only thought that seemed to be taking over was the one that was saying "Well this is annoying! Why aren't I asleep?". Did you know, that just being awake for 18 hours, has the same effect on your brain as drinking 2 to 3 beers!? So it would seem by the end of the day today I'm going to be completely sozzled! Hmmm, maybe it's not so bad after all? Although my brain does feel like it's been dipped in treacle and then covered in cotton wool at the moment. I can't help but maybe I should of referred to the fact that, just five minutes of cuddling before sleep relaxes the mind, reducing the process of over thinking which in turn makes it easier to fall asleep.

So yes it is Monday I'm afraid, I know things always seem a little more difficult. So here's some more facts about Mondays that maybe you didn't know. For instance, did you know that most people do not smile until at least 11.16 on Monday morning. Or the fact that most people spend at least 12 minutes complaining on a Monday. Also on Monday's we are generally only really productive at work for only three and a half hours. Mind you there are positive side to a Monday as well, I mean did you also know, despite the weather today, Monday is statistically the least rainy day of the week!? Oh and if you're planning to buy a car, the best day to do it is a Monday. As most sales are made during the weekend, and most salesmen see Monday's as a slow day, so they are more willing to make a better offer!

So, for my final fact, if you're feeling all Mondayish and stressful today, do take note that kissing causes the body to release high amounts of oxytocin, which boosts your mood and lowers levels of stress. So my tip for us all today is to go and grab yourselves a big kiss and a tight cuddle and prepare to feel a lot better about your Monday.

The foot of days

Oh yes my dear friends, once again the 'foot of days' has passed through the dark 'trouser leg of the working week'. It started it's journey at the arse end on Monday, past the thighs and lows of Tuesday, the knee jointed knee-dy Wednesday, down through the shapely calves of Thursday, before emerging through the open leg hole into the bright lights of Friday.

So it's time to take stock, breathe in the gloriousness and freshness of a brand new gleaming Friday. It's time to cherish each passing moment, clutch it to our heaving bosoms (metaphorically if you happen to be a gentleman) and to take in the wonder and mimsy whimsy of an approaching joyous weekend.

I do apologise for getting slightly poetic with my turn of phrase, but it's just the effect that a Friday seems to have on me. Of course if you wish to point the skeletal finger of blame towards anyone, it would have to be the Amazing Lady T. Only the other day, she rightly pointed out to me that my use and appreciation of words has grown expodentially since marrying her.

It's true, I was a driveling buffoon by comparison when she met me. (No saying "well you haven't changed that much then!" RUDE!) I guess she has made me want to become a better person, to be the best version of me that I can be. Over the years she has subconsciously and quite often very consciously molded my rough exterior into the frankly fabulous person you see before you today. Sadly of course, I can't claim to of had the same effect on the Awe Inspiring Lady T. After all it was Newton that said "Everything has an equal and opposite reaction". So if the Marvellous Lady T has in anyway become a lesser person than she was before she met me, it's more than likely my fault. For that I can only hold my hands out and apologise.

Well I suppose I better let you get on and greet your Friday with the open arms and smiling face that it deserves. Do have yourself a fantastic weekend full of laughs and guffaws. I'll see you all on the flip-side!

The story of the Starfish

Good morning!! *air kiss on both cheeks* How are you!? You're looking fabulous this morning. I love what you're wearing! Have you lost weight? Anyway, come in! come in! Do find yourself a comfy chair, (No no! Not the comfy chair!) a giant cosy bean bag or a large soft cushion. (No!! Not the soft cushion! With all the stuffing jammed into one corner!) Just flop yourself down, I'll bring you all your Teas, fresh coffees, Ovaltines, or hot chocolates shortly. Does anyone want a sticky bun? No!? Too early perhaps? I do have some giant double chocolate cookies if you prefer, or perhaps a hot buttered croissant? Still do just make yourself at home and sit where you like.

Well good morning everyone. I'm so glad you could all join me here this morning, for today's little Friday Eve gathering. I wanted to share with you today the story of the starfish.

Not so long ago a man was taking a morning walk along the beach in Cornwall. He did this every morning, and had noticed that along with the morning tide each day, came hundreds of starfish. Then when the tide receded, the poor stricken starfish would be left behind and during the morning the sun would shine, and with no protection or enough speed to make it back to the water, they would die.

At this moment though, the tide was still fresh and the starfish were alive. So the man took a few steps, bent down and carefully picked one up and threw it back into the water. He did this repeatedly. Over and over again he would pick up one of the starfish and throw it back into the safety of the sea.

Just then, an early morning jogger happened along the sand and noticed what the man was doing. He couldn't understand why this man was randomly throwing starfish back into the sea. He caught up to him and asked, "Excuse me mate, but I have to ask. What are you doing? There's hundreds of starfish along this beach. How many do you think you can you help? I mean what difference does it really make?"

The man did not reply, instead he took two more steps, gently picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the water, and then said, "Well, it makes a difference to this one."

So when you ask yourselves, in the grand scheme of things, what difference do I really make? Know this! Big or small, it doesn't really matter. If everyone makes a tiny difference, we'd end up with a whole big difference, wouldn't we?

Do look after yourselves, and each other.

Fanfare for Friday

Good morning, and welcome to, by far the greatest working day of them all. Ladies and gentlemen of all ages, (he says while twirling his moustache) I give to you . . . (more moutashe twirling) . . . your Friday. (large red velvet curtains sweep open revealing a rather damp grey day) Yes, it may be wetter than hippo's undercarriage out there, and have more of a nip in the air than Spearmint Rhino on a Saturday evening, but still Friday it is, and joy it will bring. You may well be looking out the window this morning and thinking to yourself 'Euurgh, it looks 'orrible out there' and in part you may be right. But dear fellow traveler of bumpy road of life, it IS still Friday . . . 'ahem' . . . let me tell you what I mean . . .

Friday is certainly the greatest day,
The reasons for this, are too many to say,
It really don’t matter, if there’s sunshine or rain,
It’s really quite simple, so let me explain.

On Friday you see, you can work with a smile.
We may be toiling, but it’s only a while.
There’s bubbles of joy, for the weekend is near.
When we can switch off, relax, and have beer.

Everyone’s happier on a Friday,
Knowing that soon, we can skip off and play,
Friday’s a day when we should give in to fun,
There’s no point in hiding, there’s nowhere to run.

With a bounce in our step, and a dance in our heart,
There’s hugs to be had, and jokes to impart,
When afternoon comes there’s the slowing of time,
But we will get through it, it'll all be just fine.

So just join with me, with a laugh and cheer,
The work week is ending, the weekend is near,
So stand up and sing, and give praise to this day,
Fridays are awesome, that’s all there's to say.

*(Carl does a low bow using his top hat for more emphasis, then disappears off into the horizon. Doing a sort of cross between a march and a dance, as he leads the marching band, who appeared at the end of verse 2, and the dancers, who were once just passers by, but are currently back-flipping alongside the band)*

Love, Love me Brew!

Morning all! Now it's a little known fact that The Beatles hauntingly beautiful song 'Yesterday' was originally called 'Scrabbled Eggs'. No really! It was! Now I like to think that the Beatles draw in my brain is pretty full, but I must admit I didn't know this fact until just the other day, when it was brought up on 'Pointless'.

Apparently Paul had already come up with the tune, but just couldn't find the right lyrics to go with it. So, just for a laugh, he came up with some working lyrics for the purpose of practicing the tune. So without further a do, ladies and gentlemen I give to you Paul McCartney’s original working lyrics for the song 'Yesterday':

Scrambled eggs
Have an omelette with some Muenster cheese
Put your dishes in the wash bin please
So I can clean the scrambled eggs

Join me do
There’s a lot of eggs for me and you
I’ve got ham and cheese and bacon too
So go get two and join me do

Fried or sunny side
Just aren’t right
The mix-bowl begs
Quick, go get a pan, and we’ll scramble up some eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs

Scrambled eggs
Good for breakfast, dinner time or brunch
Don’t buy six or twelve, just get a bunch
And we’ll have a lunch on scrambled eggs.